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Sorry that you went through that. But is it the path that will make you the happiest. This includes both asking and offering assistance. Though our husband's are different we are very similar. My husband is specialising in Urology. He was not a prominent man in the church. There will always be difference between spouses. Like many single members of the church, I have often wondered whether I would be willing to marry someone outside of the temple, and over the past few years I have come to believe that I would be willing to do so.
I think our entire family feels the loneliness including himself. I'm in the exact same pulling-out-my-hair situation that you are. She cannot get into the top echelons of heaven without being sealed to a worthy priesthood holder in the temple for time and all eternity. In any case; I can assure you from your post that he doesn't sound like he's being selfish; the behavior does sound like its residency related and not selfishness related. Good luck to you. I had a business, 3 engineering degrees, numerous patents, and was working countless hours a week to try and keep a roof over our heads, make sure she was fed, the house was clean, bills were paid, etc. I know that she's even getting her stuff ready to go on her mission. I have heard for ten years that my spouse is "second fiddle. His father died and he was not given one day off. It seems to me like you are walking into a relationship where there is a significant disconnect from the start.